on meditation

meditating is easy, says pablo d'ors. just stop, be silent, listen, and look inside. the difficult bit is to want to do that hard enough that it actually starts to work. and it has do be done regularly to train that.

so, i am sitting on a mat regularly now and try to want to stop, to be silent, to listen, to look inside.

that is a lower bar first. trying to become a person motivated to meditate, to show up (onto the mat - after all, the couch is much more comfortable), to make it a habit (not a mundane routine), to acquire the skill by doing it.

then this aspect of effort without effort. a bit like taking away things. by subtracting.

think:
don't follow the thought. don't solve the problem. don't improve yourself. don't become someone else. remain in the now. don’t think. not thinking. what is it? what is there? not thinking. becoming aware of it. letting it arrive.

for me that makes it difficult. i think a lot. i have trained myself to think a lot. and fundamentally, thinking isn’t something bad. but meditation asks me to place trust in awareness with absence of thought.

writing it down makes experiences language. meditation doesn’t require language, it turns experiences into awareness. writing is interpretation, meditation is presence in the here and now. silence.

i am wondering, whether with meditation my writing will change over time. whether it will become quieter, more focussed on the essence (of whatever it focusses on). maybe, if the experiences are held in silence before putting words to them, before interpreting them.

just stop, be silent, listen and look inside. stay here and now.